Hashtag Forenji Problems

You died of dysentery.

Everyone's favorite takeaway from the Oregon Trail computer game. So when I was positive for amoeba (dysentery), I was kind of pumped to have such a name brand illness.

If your character was given 12 500 mg tablets of Tinidazole to start, you could have been fishing for a whole lot longer. The rest of this post is not me trying to figure out where I got it from, it could have come from anywhere.

Last Saturday I came back from language (kwankwa) class around noon 30 (6:30 am Ethiopian time. Our 6 am is there 12 am. No, I don't get it I just changed my watch and smile).

My host dad Endeshaw learned that I had the rest of the day off, and playfully offered some irake with lunch. What's irake? It's moonshine. Irake can range from 80-90% ABV. 

Endeshaw and I enjoyed about irake slowly and then decided to take a nap. I awoke with a struggling stomach to say the least.

My family threw a going away bash for my sister Aidan who was flying to Dubai in the morning. Endeshaw asked me if I wanted to go get a beer and I said yes, unsure as to why we were leaving when things were just getting started, but not overly analytical.

We walked out to get in his bajaj and there is a large long horned sheep in the driveway. It is yelling like it has the worst sore throat in town. (Foreshadowing)

We leave to go to a hotel (bar) on the main drag. Three of Endeshaw's friends join us and arrange a cocktail similar to a 6-12-6. The mixologist starts with a bottle of beer, adds 250 ml of gin, then finishes off with a Pepsi.

After this is drank down a ways, he adds another 250 ml of gin and some more Pepsi. Endeshaw communicates that these gentleman "practice" drinking a lot.

On our exit, one of the beligerent guys hops in our bajaj and proceeds to ask me what my problem is. My use of chikalaylum (no problem) and broken Amharic were not appeasing him. I did remember that he is fond of Ice Cube, so I responded "One for the money, two for the weed..." and filled in English words, which are not the real lyrics, but he doesn't know the difference. And with that, rap music saved the day.

We returned to a house full of people. The ladies were cutting up piles of meat and vegetables. I realized the fate of the sheep hanging out in our driveway was to be Aidan's good luck dinner.

It turns out that Endeshaw doesn't like to kill animals, so he chose to head out for a brew while his guy friend did the job and figured I wouldn't mind doing the same.

My stomach still eerie from the irake and beer/gin/soda, I am urged to take a plate of meat. The anatomy unknown to me, I took tinish siga (little meat), and proceeded to sit uncomfortably in the living room.

Caught trying to sneakily go to bed, Yeshi, my host mother, ushers me outside to the bonfire and bumping music. My brother likes to use his access to good speakers on the regular. Noise complaints are clearly not a thing here, because these were on full blast in the front yard for the whole kebele to hear.

My other brother Shimelis walks around with a half shell filled with sheep meat that looks like steak tips. I tried to refuse, but settled for tinish. 

To my surprise, this was the tastiest meat I had ever eaten. Once I started eating, my stomach felt better and I cleaned the plate. Cooked over an open flame, with garlic, onions, and the spicy Ethiopian green peppers, fresh sheep meat is no joke dawg. No joke. 

You know how after Thanksgiving you eat leftover turkey for about a week? I had sheep for breakfast, lunch, and dinner Sunday and Monday. And not the good parts.

Let's recap. Here are the cliff notes:

- My family is really fun

- I drank moonshine, ate fresh sheep, ate leftover sheep, drank over chlorinated water, got dysentary and I went for a 6 mile run this morning.

- I am still bad at Amharic